I have thought numerous times that if I wasn't drunk John to anyone, then how could I possibly be do anything to them. I was only hurting myself and no one else. I'm finding this is not true. Whether I can stay sober the rest of my life or still have slip ups, I am having impacts on peoples lives.
I do find it curious that any "good" stuff is very easily and quickly swept under the rug. I can make 50 good decisions and that one shit one catches me Hell.....
I am glad you can finally see this. That is something very important for you to know and understand. Our actions in life are not complete isolated choices. they affect everything around us for they are like the waves created when a pebble is drop into water. They spread out around us in all directions.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the good decisions... look at it this way... should you be given a reward for actions you should doing? aren't rewards for going above and beyond what you should be doing?
Why shouldn't he be rewarded? Don't we learn more from positive feedback than negative. If the only attention we get is from misbehaving, humans learn, very quickly to crave any intention... even negative attention.
ReplyDeleteIt honestly doesn't matter how long I'm on the "wagon". It's like everyone puts me back at step one. And you're like dude, I'm just got stuck in the mud, but I'm back on the road. Even David has made me feel that way.
DeleteNo, John, I think that's where you're wrong. David doesn't make you feel anything. I don't make you feel anything. You just feel it, and it's okay. It's not what we feel that matters. We have very little control over that. It's what we do with the feelings. Do we internalize them? Do we act out on them? That is what matters. I've had a long struggle with this kind of thing. I can feel anything I want or need to. That's not a choice. The choice I have, and the choice we all have, is what we do with the feelings.
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