Pondering...

So what makes a person an alcoholic?  I guess it depends on who you ask.  I don't have an exact answer, but I do know that everything I have learned or heard points to us being pre-destined for it.  I have never been the biggest fan of destiny.  In my therapy, the doctor tells me that I have over-ridden my brain and I control the chemicals that control my mood.  And now my body "expects" me to keep it up.  To me, this is the most correct answer.  

With this being said, there are groups that say you have to turn yourself over to God.  Let him be the one that guides you.  Not to discount these programs, but that sort of seems like a loophole so you can fall off the wagon.  Whoopsie, I slipped up and got drunk.  Let me know pray about it.  I don't know, just doesn't seem like a fit for me.

I honestly feel, I'm the one that got me to this point.  I should be the one that crawls back out of the hole and finds a nice happy place.  This won't be easy and there are things I cannot fix.  But I can try to keep getting it right.

Just starting...

I have always thought about starting a blog, but I never knew what to make it about.  Well, it struck me yesterday as my way to Missouri to buy liquor.  I should blog about trying to get sober.  I had the intent to start this last night, but I got drunk.  So here we are now.  It's Monday morning and lightly raining.  I'm at work, hoping no one can smell the liquor on my breath.  Hopefully I will have a good day.