Tales From A Former Beauty Pageant Winner

This story is true.  Believe it or not.

I was once a beauty pageant winner.  I know it's hard to believe this chubby bald "grizzly adams" looking guy could be, but it is true.

I was 6 or 7 years old when it happened.  I'm not sure why I was entered.  It was my first and last competition.  I retired at my peak.  I wasn't going to stay past my prime.  

As I stood up on the stage, I started to walk off, but then I thought I should wave.  So I went back to center stage and waved at everyone.  Apparently that cemented the deal.  I was crown Little Mister Lowell 1981.

As with any washed-up beauty contestant, I became a raging alcoholic to deal with being out of the spotlight.